How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
