dude i'm inner monologue high
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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