don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
