READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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