is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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