I think my vagina is haunted
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize