Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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