It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
