i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
