i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
