Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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