wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
