He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
