There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
