We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
