i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Randomize
