Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
