Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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