i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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