spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
