I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
