i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
These tits shall not be calmed
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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