I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
