Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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