Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize