i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
