Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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