Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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