I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
