someone threw a dead crab at me
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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