apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
