you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
