Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
where are my eyebrows?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize