just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize