Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Randomize
