He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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