I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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