turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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