Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
