Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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