yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
