And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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