I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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