That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
