69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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