wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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