Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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