wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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