it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
