one two three fourrrrnication!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
