you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
