Plan B is the new Plan A
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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