I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
