kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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