The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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