Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
