The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Randomize
